Closing the Bones
To celebrate the rite of passage that is Matrescence. To hold, and invite redirection of our energy inwards, after the opening that is pregnancy and birth. This is a Postpartum Care ritual based in the traditions of South American midwives and women carers. A practice that is offered to mums, usually around 40 days postpartum. Promoting recovery, wellbeing and celebrating the transition through Matrescence.
When can I have a Closing The Bones Ceremony?
Traditionally they are for Postpartum, but I believe they can be valuable to celebrate and acknowledging any rite of passage throughout your cyclic life, especially if you didn’t receive this kind of ceremony and care in your postpartum period.
Postpartum-To close your bones after deep opening that is pregnancy and birth
After Loss- You're still going through a postpartum, plus added trauma. Let's acknowledge this multilayered bereavement and you.
To celebrate transition between seasons of life- Maiden to Mother, Mother to Maga, Maga to Crone
To simply celebrate you, and allow yourself to be held- During any phase of your cycle, but particularly useful during the going inwards that winter (menstruation) brings.
During pregnancy and birth, our body does a lot of opening, especially in the pelvis and hips physically, and in the heart and womb space energetically.
When we shift to the postpartum period the vata energy (air and space elements) outbalances our other energies of kapha (earth & water - dominant in pregnancy) and pitta (fire & water- dominant in birth). This imbalance can leave us feeling physically and emotionally open, vulnerable, exhausted, chaotic, dry, ungrounded, restless, cold and our can cause our energy expression to be focussed outward and upward away from ourselves.
Closing the bones is a practice and ceremony long held in the traditions of the midwives of South America and Mexico. Many cultures follow similar rituals to support a Mother after the birth of a baby. I have learnt this practice from Mel Craven, who learnt it from Sophie Messager, who learnt from Midwives in Ecuador.
Although not from the tradition of Ayurveda (from which the above mentioned doshas come from), this ceremony aligns with the aims of ayurvedic postpartum mother care.
Closing the bones can support us in countering the vata energy and holding us as we move back to our natural balance of energies. Supporting healing in a holistic way.
The general aim is to nurture Mumma in body. mind, and soul. Energetically and physically closing her back in towards herself. It is a ritual and celebration of the mothers journey. An important part in healing and bringing the mother back to centre and help introduce her to her rebirthed self. It is both a physical and subtle practice that can't always be fully described, but must also be felt.
I like to imagine it as a similar rite of passage and celebration as a caterpillar coming into it's cocoon and emerging as the butterfly. A celebration of you, a recognition of the importance of the transition from maiden to mother, or into seasoned mother. It signifies an important acknowledgment of the feminine experience.
This practice is also amazing to celebrate ourselves through other massive transitions in life such as menarche, during menstruation, after pregnancy loss, or for menopause.
We can do this ritual with bub present, but it can be a good idea to have another person will be present to support bub and bring them in and out of the room as bub and mum needs. Close friends or family members, particularly female (but can include males) that you trust to energetically support and hold you in your postpartum.
I recommend holding this ritual close to the end of 40 days postpartum, and/or after postpartum bleeding has ceased. Or if you miss the chance to be celebrated in this time, it is just as beneficial months or even years later.
What does a Closing the Bones Ceremony Involve?
I'll take a little time to set up the space, we will need some floor space to fit at least two yoga mats next to each other. So that you can lay down and I can move around you.
All of the processes, of course can be removed, or we can add things that you desire. You're the one in control and the ceremony will adjust and work around what you need and want on the day.
I invite you to create a little altar, before we begin. Where you can gather any special items that mean something to you and your partner, it may be photos, mementos from pregnancies, births, losses. Anything you wish to include is welcome. For example: memory boxes, candles, photos, toys, incense, poetry.
We will start with a hip sifting, with material (called a Rebozo in South American traditions) wrapping your hips. I'll gently sway and sift your pelvis and hips, releasing this area. I stand with my feet either side of you for this. You can have an eye pillow, and it can be nice for your partner to be at your head for this (if they are involved in the ceremony) either grounding your shoulders or just energetically supporting you.
I then use my hands to map out your pelvic bones, and we may do some more release here with the rebozo.
I'll then use warmed sesame oil (or coconut if you prefer, we can also add EO if you wish), to gently massage your pelvic, belly and hip space. We usually need to roll the top of your pants down slightly for this and we can place a towel at the top of the pants to prevent oil from getting on them, and of course we always want you to be comfortable so please always let me know if something doesn't feel right to you.
Rock and wrap your hips with the rebozo, and then do the same moving from your head, down the body shoulders/breasts, thighs, knees, ankles & feet. Your partner can either join in with this rocking and wrapping, or sit at your head or feet with some gentle touch or emotional support.
You’ll be covered with a weighted blanket and your partner can join in this covering lying next to you and you can be cocooned together or again they can remain near your head or feet for support.
This is a moment where we can play a special song of your choice, have silence, or I can play the singing bowls. You'll be wrapped up in your rest for at least 10mins longer if you wish.
We will slowly come out of this in the reverse of coming into it.
We will then sit together around your altar and have your choice of a tea or adaptogenic hot chocolate (which I provide and make for you), chat and debrief about the ceremony, and anything you wish to discuss around the process, or your birth/s, pregnancies, or losses. It can take some time to integrate the ceremony and I'm also available to chat further if desired at later dates.
I will then pack up, and leave you for the rest of your day. It's a great idea to follow up the ceremony with having a slow day dedicated to supporting you in integrating and honouring the celebration of this rite of passage, some women love to bathe afterwards or nap.