Celebrating Rites of Passage in Womanhood

Blog #3- 24/04/25

Why we need to honour, ritualise and celebrate the big transitions in our lives as women including Menarche, Matrescence and Menopause.

A few weekends ago, I got the honour to experience and conduct a closing of the bone’s ceremony for a dear friend. (read more about closing the bones ceremonies here)

I’ve done quite a few closing the bones ceremonies now and each on is unique and special in their own way, because each mother I’m celebrating, massaging and wrapping are each their own beautiful human.

This ceremony for my friend TJ, was different all together. It was the first I’d done later into motherhood, beyond being in the first year of postpartum. TJ was celebrating the ending of her childbearing years as well as her 40th birthday. I’ve had partners present for closing the bones ceremonies I’ve done previously, but this one involved a whole group of women who were there to celebrate and support TJ in this transition of her life.

I learnt this offering from my teacher Mel Craven and she learnt from her teacher Sophie Messager, and she learnt from Midwives of Ecuador, from who this tradition originates. It is important to acknowledge this lineage of learning and acknowledge that the ceremony I practice may differ from the original but that this is the source from which it comes. Other cultures and countries may also have similar rituals that are called the same or are for the same intent but named something different.

The general aim during a closing of the bones is to nurture Mumma in body. mind, and soul. Energetically and physically closing her back in towards herself. It is a ritual and celebration of the mother’s journey. An important part in healing and bringing the mother back to centre and help introduce her to her rebirthed self. It is both a physical and subtle practice that can't always be fully described but must also be felt.

The ceremony includes, rocking, massage, wrapping, and time being held in deep rest and closing in. We can follow with a celebration and welcoming of you as Mother, birth debriefs, celebration of you in any transition in your cyclic nature.

After the ceremony, we can ground by sharing of food and teas with your family and friends or any other needed and meaningful celebrations of passage. I like to imagine it as a similar rite of passage and celebration as a caterpillar coming into its cocoon and emerging as the butterfly. A celebration of you, a recognition of the importance of the transition you are celebrating, the ritual signifies an important acknowledgment of the feminine experience.

The nitty gritty of the ceremony starts with hip sifting, with material wrapping your hips. I'll gently sway and sift your pelvis and hips, releasing this area. I stand with my feet either side of you for this. You can have an eye pillow, and it can be nice for your partner or support people to be at your head for this either grounding your shoulders or just energetically supporting you. I then use my hands to map out your pelvic bones, and we may do some more release here with the rebozo (the material or cloth mentioned earlier, which are like long scarves we use to rock, and wrap the mother- Rebozos originate in South America, as does this tradition of closing the bones).

I'll then use warmed sesame oil (or coconut if you prefer, we can also add EO if you wish), to gently massage your pelvic, belly and hip space. We usually need to roll the top of your pants down slightly for this and we will place a towel at the top of the pants to prevent oil from getting on them.

We then move on to rock and wrap your hips with the rebozo, and then do the same moving from your head, down the body shoulders/breasts, thighs, knees, ankles & feet. Your partner/support people can either join in with this rocking and wrapping or sit at your head or feet with some gentle touch or emotional support. You’ll be covered with a weighted blanket and your partner can join in this covering lying next to you and you can be cocooned together or again they or your support people can remain near your head or feet for support.

This is a moment where we can play a special song of your choice, have silence, or I can play the singing bowls. You'll be wrapped up in your rest for at least 10mins longer if you wish. We will slowly come out of this in the reverse of coming into it. We will then sit together around your altar and have your choice of a tea or adaptogenic hot chocolate (which I provide and make for you), chat and debrief about the ceremony, and anything you wish to discuss around the process, or your birth/s, pregnancies, losses, or significant transition.

It can take some time to integrate the ceremony and I'm also available to chat further if desired at later dates. It's a great idea to follow up the ceremony with having a slow day dedicated to supporting you in integrating and honouring the celebration of this rite of passage, some women love to bathe afterwards or nap. If this is a group celebration with friends and loved ones you may want to have a celebratory meal/food or other significant grounding, like nature walk, swim, or dance.

Now back to this ceremony for TJ. Having this gathering of women was truly magical, I knew it would be and even during the ceremony, I felt I would be absorbing and taking in this magic for a long time coming. Whilst I was still holding the mother and I was the main woman holding the space for this ceremony, there was a sense of huge support and rhythm to the ceremony that came from all the other women in the room.

There were tears shed, and I knew that this was not only an important moment for TJ in honouring her own transition, but that it was also hugely important for showing and sharing with all the women present, that we are worthy of celebration, reverence and that the transitions of our lives need to be talked about, shared and acknowledged more.

I was so thankful that TJ had embraced herself in this way and opened such a special reverent event up to share with other women in her life. We invited some of the women present to help wrap her and hold her as she went into her cocoon. There was a moment as we were all holding TJ there, wrapped up, where a song came on that naturally made us all start to sing. It was so lovely to feel the energy and love in the room for TJ, and for women in general.

We need more of this, and this gathering and community of women is what I often crave in both my everyday life and in my business life too. It was so wholistic to be able to talk more about the ceremony with women before and after it and the feedback of how much other women needed this for themselves and similar ritual and ceremony for their daughters.

I know that holding and celebrating women in all the seasons of womanhood, and within the distinct cyclic rhythms within each month, is something I love to do. This special experience has ignited a lot of other ideas in me, as well as connected some dots for other offerings I’ve previously desired to share, but for whatever reason haven’t been able to really take off.

As always, I’d love to hear from you and chat about all things cycles, and seasons of womanhood with you. Are you after a rites of passage ceremony or celebration? Reach out to me, I’m happy to discuss and may be able to travel to you anywhere in Tassie or point you in the right direction to another space holder close to you!

Big love,

Rach.