What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding (and How to Prepare While You’re Still Pregnant)

Blog #5- 14/05/25

For many expecting parents, breastfeeding is imagined as something natural, instinctive, and beautiful- but in reality, it is often far from it.

I’ve heard so many pregnant Mum’s say “I’ll breastfeed…. If I can”, as if leaving it up to the universe to show them whether they’ll be able to or not. Whilst it is true for some that the decision is made for them, due to biology or some other reason out of their control. For most of us the ability to meet our breastfeeding goals is rooted deep within our ability to prepare ourselves for success. The truth is: while breastfeeding is natural, it doesn’t always come naturally, and even though many of us have all the physiological features we need to be able to breastfeed successfully, the majority of us don’t have the social and emotional support to meet these goals.

check out my free downloadable Breastfeeding Prep checklist

If you’re pregnant and thinking ahead to feeding your baby, now is the perfect time to gently prepare yourself—not with fear, but with knowledge, support, and realistic expectations. As a postpartum doula at The Nesting Space in North West Tasmania, I support new mums through the early postpartum weeks, and I’ve seen firsthand just how much of a difference it makes when women feel informed, resourced, and not alone.

Let’s explore what to expect, how to prepare, and how to hold yourself with kindness—no matter what your breastfeeding journey looks like.

1.      Breastfeeding Is NOT free — For Your body, your mind or your emotional wellbeing.

One of the many touted benefits of breastfeeding is that it is “free”. But it’s not really free for the mum. Many Mum’s are shocked by how much time it actually takes to breastfeed, let alone the toll it can have on your body. The extreme thirst and hunger it instigates or the unexpected emotions and sensations it can bring.

2. Breastfeeding Is a Learned Skill — For You and Your Baby

Despite what we often see in the media, breastfeeding doesn’t always “just happen.” It’s something you and your baby learn together. Latch, positioning, milk transfer—it can all take time. Some babies latch easily; others need more guidance. Some mothers have an abundant milk supply from day one; others need time, support, and strategies to help it build.

What helps:

• Learn the basics before birth (a breastfeeding class, workshop, or evidence-based book can be invaluable). Join my mailing list to find out when my breastfeeding essentials video drops

• Set realistic expectations: it’s okay if it takes a while to find your rhythm. This rhythm may also change multiple times throughout your breastfeeding journey.

• Line up support now—whether that’s a lactation consultant, doula, breastfeeding-friendly GP, Mother, Grandmother, Aunty, Friend or all of the above. You want to have people around who are going to be in your corner and align with your desires and goals to breastfeed, whilst being able to be honest and supportive with you.

3. It Might Feel Uncomfortable at First—But It Shouldn’t Be Painful Long-Term

Tender nipples and sensitivity are normal in the early days, but pain, cracked skin, or bleeding are signs that something isn’t quite right—often a simple latch adjustment or minor issue that can be resolved with the right support.

What helps:

• Reach out early if something doesn’t feel right. Don’t wait and suffer through.

• Use nipple balm, silver cups, or hydrogel pads if needed for comfort.

• Ask for a latch check from a trained professional if you're unsure.

4. Cluster Feeding and Long Feeds Are Normal (and Not a Sign You’re Failing)

One of the most surprising things for many new mums is how often newborns feed—especially in the first few weeks. Cluster feeding (frequent feeds over a few hours) is your baby’s way of regulating milk supply and getting comfort. It’s exhausting, but normal. Not only can it occur when regulating milk supply, but it can be common when bub is having a growth spurt, teething or wanting comfort.

What helps:

• Set yourself up with snacks, water, and comfy pillows- I love breastfeeding baskets or drawers next to wherever you usually breastfeed. Keep it stocked with the items listed above.

• Try babywearing if your baby feeds often and you need your hands free- this won’t be for everyone but is an option to try.

• Ask your support network to take care of everything else while you feed and rest.

5. Feeding Doesn’t Look the Same for Everyone—And That’s Okay

Not everyone can or chooses to exclusively breastfeed—and that’s a truth we don’t talk about enough. There are physiological reasons (like insufficient glandular tissue, hormonal issues, or past surgeries), psychological reasons (such as trauma, anxiety, or mental health conditions), and personal reasons why some parents explore other feeding options.

Some families:

• Mix feed (breast and bottle)

• Formula feed (by choice or necessity)

• Use donated breastmilk (from a milk bank or peer-to-peer sharing)

• Pump and bottle feed, or chest feed in non-traditional ways

What matters most is that your baby is fed, and you feel emotionally well and supported. Your bond is not determined by how your baby is fed, but by how you love and respond to them.

What helps:

• Be gentle with yourself if things look different than expected.

• Reach out for non-judgmental support and information.

• Remember: your wellbeing is just as important as your baby’s- in fact your babies wellbeing is heavily affected by that of their primary care giver.

6. Your Mental and Emotional Health Matter

Breastfeeding can bring up deep emotions—joy, frustration, grief, anxiety, even trauma. If it’s not going the way you hoped, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Your worth is not measured by your milk supply.

What helps:

• Talk to someone you trust—whether that’s your doula, partner, friend, or a mental health professional.

• Know that feeding your baby with love—in whatever way works for you—is always the right choice.

• Give yourself permission to change course if breastfeeding isn’t working for your body or your family. Adjusting to the realities of our experiences are incredibly important and can be the difference between being well and unwell.

7. Community and Support Make All the Difference

No one is meant to do this alone. Feeding support isn’t just about technique—it’s about being seen, heard, and reminded that you’re doing an incredible job.

At The Nesting Space, I offer postpartum doula support for families in North West Tasmania, including gentle feeding guidance, emotional care, and hands-on support in the early weeks. I walk alongside you, however you feed your baby, and help you feel confident and cared for in your choices.

You Don’t Have to Be Perfect—Just Supported

Feeding your baby is a journey—and for every journey, there’s more than one right path. Whether you breastfeed for one day or one year, mix feed, formula feed, or use donor milk, you are a good parent. And you deserve support, rest, and nourishment too.

So as you prepare for birth, take time to prepare for feeding. Learn the basics, explore your options, and most of all—surround yourself with care and kindness.

🌿 Ready to chat about postpartum care or feeding support?
I offer free in-home meetups for families in North West Tasmania, where we can gently explore what you might need in those early weeks.

email me at rach.d.bija@gmail.com
Or follow along at @thenestingspacetas for tips, reflections, and updates from The Nesting Space.

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Big love,

Rach.