Finding My Place: How Being a Late-Diagnosed AuDHD Mum Shapes My Work in Postpartum Care

Blog #12- 09/10/25

There are very few places where I feel completely at ease. But working one-on-one with a Postpartum Mother is one of them.

As a late diagnosed AuDHD (this means I have both ADHD and Autism) woman and mother, I often find social situations uncomfortable- background noise, small talk, group dynamics, lighting and noises that make my skin crawl. I feel things deeply, notice what others don’t, and can’t always “mask” my emotions or responses in the way society expects.

But there is one place where I feel completely at home: in the postpartum space.
In a mother’s home. Sitting quietly while she feeds her baby. Bringing her food. Listening to her story. Making sure she’s warm, nourished, and not alone in what she’s feeling.

It’s here that my sensitivity — the very thing that once made life feel hard — becomes my greatest strength.

✨ The Way I See the World

I notice when a mother’s tone shifts ever so slightly, sometimes noticing changes in emotion before she even does.
I feel the energy in the room before a word is spoken.
I know when someone is putting on a brave face, and saying different to how they’re feeling.

These aren’t “skills” I learned; they’re simply how I exist in the world.
And in postpartum care, they matter deeply.

I often think about how many of the traits that make everyday life challenging for neurodivergent women — sensitivity, empathy, intuition, intensity — are exactly what make us so beautifully equipped for this kind of nurturing work.

💛 Why This Work Feels Like Home

In a postpartum home, there’s no need for small talk or masks. The conversations are real, raw, and honest.
There’s no pressure to perform.
It’s a space where emotions are welcome, and silence can be sacred.

It’s here that I feel in alignment with my nervous system — grounded, present, useful, calm.

And it’s also where I’m reminded that there’s no “normal” way to be a mother or a woman. But that the magic of it all is in just ‘being’ exactly as we are and being seen and held in that.

🌿 Reframing What’s “Easy” and What’s Not

There are things people expect me to find easy — like socialising in groups, going with the flow, or adapting to new environments.
But for me, those situations can feel overwhelming. The noise, the small talk, the undercurrent of unspoken expectations — it’s a lot for my nervous system to hold.

Where I truly feel at ease is one-on-one, in quiet connection.
That’s where my hypersensitivity becomes a gift — where I can sense what someone is feeling without them needing to say it.
Where I can listen, observe, and respond with care.
Where what I say actually matters, and (hopefully) makes a difference.

In those moments — sitting beside a new mother, holding space for her story, helping her feel truly seen and held — I feel completely in my element.

It’s there, in that quiet postpartum space, that everything about who I am just fits.

🤍 Care Shouldn’t Be a Privilege

Something that weighs on me often is how postpartum support — true, holistic, mother-centered care — can seem like a privilege.
Something only available to those who can afford it, or those who happen to know it exists.

But it shouldn’t be that way.
Every mother deserves to be held, nourished, and supported through her transition — not just the ones who can pay for it.

That’s why alongside my one-on-one postpartum care, I also offer postpartum planning sessions — where we map out how you can gather your village.
Together, we create a simple, tangible plan to call in the women, friends, and supports you already have around you, and organise them so you’re not carrying it all alone.

It’s one session — costing less than in-home care — but (hopefully) when you put it into action, it gives you the support and steadiness you need and deserve.

Because postpartum care isn’t a luxury. It’s a right. I also have a heap of freebies, I’m always adding to, and my workbook Becoming You (after baby) which is a really accessible, instant downloadable PDF where you can work through and map out your postpartum support and your own needs.

🕊️ Closing Reflection

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “too sensitive,” or like you don’t fit the mould — know that your way of being may be exactly what someone else needs.

For me, postpartum work has become both a calling and a homecoming.
A space where my own difference finally feels like belonging.

And perhaps, if you’re reading this as a mother- especially one who is pregnant, or in those tender early weeks or years of postpartum- you might recognise that longing for gentleness, understanding and someone who just gets it without you having to explain.

That’s the space I hold. The kind of care that meets you exactly where you are- quietly, intuitively, without judgement.

If you’re entering postpartum soon or are already in it and could use that kind of support (who couldn’t really), you can learn more about my postpartum care offerings here. Or simply reach out for a chat- I’d love to hear what you need.

Big love,

Rach.